Brain Storming

So, I mentioned that I have been living on the edge the last couple of days. I have felt pressured and overwhelmed and have cried twice in two days out of exasperation. Totally not like me, (well the pressure to be perfect, yes but the crying no) So Adam and I were talking about it last night to try to figure out what the heck is going on and what I could do to fix it.

We came up with a couple of ideas.

1. Stop scheduling so much in ONE day.

No mere mortal can attend playgroup, clean the house, bathe the children, shop at Costco (ick) cook a meal for a church member, finish gifts for a sleepover, take care of the baby, parent a kiddo, be a taxi, pay the bills, answer email, haggle with insurance companies, clean out the fridge, put laundry away, clean the bathroom, take care of the yard and stay sane all between 10 am and 4 pm. And honestly, I did all of that yesterday afternoon. No wonder I was in tears.
Adam said I need to be more realistic with my day, cut off activities at a certain time everyday and have more free time to decompress and get my 'recess' as Syd says. Hmmmm. Makes sense. But how do I ditch the guilt and pressure of not doing everything right now?!?

2. Say No more.

That is going to be harder than I think its going to be. Case and point. I said no to going to a graduation party today. Adam and the kids are there right now. It was an open house. The family gets to celebrate our friends accomplishments, Adam gets time with the kids, Sydney gets to be social and snack and I get an hour or two of ever needed alone time to think. Sounds great right. Well, I still feel like I am letting down our friends. And I even had to kinda push Sydney out the door because she wanted me to go so badly. But mental health over obligations right?

3. Just be better at taking care of me

I mean better at taking care of my physical self. Meals on time not when I remember to shove something in my mouth. Drink water all the time ( I bet that will help my skin not look so wrinkly) Go to bed and forget the stuff that still needs to be done. Exercise everyday.

4. Be aware of the changes to our family right now and be patient with getting used to them.

Adam is working more these summer months and everything in me wants to be loyal and supportive to that. I want desperately to have his back. In doing so though, I am taking a little bit of 'his' stuff around the house. And I am not good at it. Like mowing and edging the yard. I need to be patient with it all and I need to patient with the fact that him being gone so much does take a toll on me here...alone.

5. Talk to my doctor. (this one I came up with)

One thing I noticed about coming unglued the last couple of days was that it was accompanied by a headache that just won't quit. I am thinking it is a migraine because it feels like this...

And its NOT MY JAW.

I thought it might be stress but then it dawned on my that it may be (gulp) PMS. Now, I don't want to get all personal here, but maybe just maybe all these symptoms are hormonal. I know. I know. I don't want to get on the PMS bandwagon either but it would make sense wouldn't it?

And I have been craving Ice Cream! :)

Anyhow...
I am so grateful to have a husband that will listen and brainstorm with me. I agreed to implement these changes and track my life a bit to see if I can cope better in this coming week. No more crying. I hate feeling weak and I hate the crying headache you get when your done. I think it will get better if I pay attention to triggers and ease up on myself a bit. Anyhow...I will let you know what happens.